Zim, the Almighty Tallest
by gayamyrose
Summary: Dib Membrane accidentally picks up a signal from a top-secret alien invasion plan. He knows the little green men are coming, but what happens when they get there isn't exactly what the human boy had in mind.
1. Chapter 1

A young boy, no older than thirteen, raced down his school's halls. His distinct hair scythe whipped back slightly as he ran. The boy had dropped his backpack several yards back, but in his urgency to get away from the large crowd of shouting children he forgot about it.

Slipping around the corner, he turned back to check to see if he was still being chased. They were getting closer!

"Come back here you freak!"

"I think I saw Bigfoot! He's right behind you!"

Rolling his eyes, he dashed out of the front doors and down the school yard. Without even a glance at the yellow school bus, he hopped right into a small black car and slammed the door behind him.

Panting, he glanced at his younger sister, sitting in the seat next to him.

"You're late, Dib." The purple haired girl growled, smashing the buttons on her handheld game console.

"I know, sorry Gaz. They almost got me today but I managed to get away."

She grunted, and the car started. It would bring them straight home. The perks of having a rich and famous father, eh? Everyday this car would be outside of their school and take them home. Dib had never had to take the bus a day in his life. They were offspring of the Professor Membrane, world renowned scientist and one of the wealthiest men in the world.

He was a great guy but a bad father.

Dib sighed, realizing he'd dropped his backpack. He had some very important paranormal research in there!

"By the time I find it, it'll probably be all torn up. Dammit!"

Gaz grunted loudly, and her older brother instantly shut up. Deciding he did not want to risk the wrath of his sister, Dib opted out and just stared out the window the rest of the ride home.

Dib Membrane had an obsession with the paranormal, aliens, and anything not of this earth. Bigfoot, the Lock Ness monster, little green men, he knew and researched all the legends. He'd actually been quite close to proving the existence of Bigfoot, having seen the creature in his garage.

But nobody believed him. They called him crazy, and even his own father called him insane.

Dib would show them. He'd find proof someday.

The car pulled up in his house's driveway, the small lurch of the breaks making Dib snap up.

"Thanks, whoever you are." He said to the driver who he still didn't know the name or gender of. Gaz hopped out, her backpack left behind. With a sigh, Dib picked it up.

"You left your bag, Gaz!"

"I know!"

Dib dragged himself inside the house, carefully placing his sister's bag on the sofa. He grabbed a soda from the fridge and trudged upstairs to his room, shutting the door behind him. He needed to take a power nap.

The boy shrugged off his coat, kicked off his shoes and hopped into his bed. Closing his eyes, he flopped down and sighed. "I wish something interesting would happen. Maybe this weekend I'll go camping..."

He drifted off to sleep, a smile on his face and thoughts full of discovering monsters.

* * *

Tall and imposing, a green alien hovered down the halls of the convention planet, Conventia's one of many arenas. It's pink walls and floors were completely spotless and sterile, as expected.

The creature's black antenna laid back behind him in a relaxed position. He was hunched over from the weight of his amour, his long, very thin arms swinging slightly at his sides. He completely ignored the smaller aliens scurrying past him, mere drones, as he ignored the taller ones assigned to guard him. They followed faithfully several feet behind, looking excited.

Today was a special day for the Irken Empire.

With a smirk, the tallest creature pressed a button on one of his control gauntlets, causing hoverbelt on the end of his long, pink robe to push him faster. His fellow Tallest, Tak, would be furious if he was late for this.

"Zim!" He heard her scream and grinned. Too late, she was mad.

"Do not yell at me! I am here!" Zim's amusement was apparent and his red eyes sparkled with mischief.

"You almost missed it." She hissed at him, pulling Zim towards a platform. "You are still such a smeet. How did you grow to be my equal?" Tak asked, mostly to herself.

"Believe me, _Tak_ , I would not have missed this for all the snacks in the universe. Now shhh!" He said as a technician signaled them.

"Platform descending in...three."

Tak's curled antenna twitched to show her annoyance.

"Two."

"Oh dontforgetthelasers!" Zim yelled at a tech over the whirring of the machines.

"One!"

* * *

Dib's eyes snapped open as his annoying alarm rang out. His thirty minute nap was over.

Slamming his hand down on the snooze button, he jumped out of bed. Turning off the alarm completely, he put on his glasses.

"Okay, time to get to work. I'm listening today."

Today was Friday, and Dib always spent his Friday evenings on the roof, stargazing and listening for alien signals. He'd never actually heard anything other than static, and it honestly had just become a habit.

Mumbling excitedly to himself, he grabbed his gear and stuffed it in a bag. Going out into the hallway, he opened a window and climbed carefully up onto the roof.

"Okay! Now to set everything up. Satilte dish, check." Trailing off he finished setting up in silence, putting on his large earphones. He had to slip them on from the back, because of his pointy hair spike. It was stubborn and hard, never bending no matter how hard he tried.

Dib relaxed, leaning back and looking up at the sky. He stared at the few stars he could see.

"Stupid light pollution."

The comforting noise of the static calmed him, but after a few minutes he heard something.

" **Kershhh**!"

He shot up, his heart racing.

"What was that?!"

The boy started frantically typing on his computer, his eyes shining, a manic grin on his face.

He finally heard something. Locking in on the signal, he listened intently.

* * *

The platform decended slowly, laser lights shooting all around them.

"Wave! Zim wave!" Tak hissed to her fellow Tallest. The smoke had cleared away quickly and the yells of their subjects reached their antennae.

"I am I am!" He growled back, putting both his arms up and waving sarcastically. She sneered at him, but quickly put on her game face, as did Zim. It was time.

"- **your all knowing, all powerful leaders, the almighty Tallest!** " Their announcer's voice boomed and the crowd of Irkens cheered as their leaders came into view. Lasers where fired, and one came painfully close to Tak. She yelled and jumped out of the way just in time, and the crowd cheered louder.

"See?" Zim whispered. "And you thought lasers where a bad idea."

Tak quelled the desire to smack him in front of everyone.

Soon the cheering subsided, and Tak began speaking, her accented voice loud and clear.

"Welcome, brave Irken soldiers!"

* * *

"They're coming." Dib has listened and heard that these..these aliens where coming! They were coming here! To Earth!

He had to tell someone. Everyone had to know this. They were all in danger!

Dib jumped down and swung through the window, accidentally landing in a sink full of soapy water.

Getting right out, he told Gaz and his father immediately. They pushed him away, ignoring him as usual when he talked about the paranormal.

Frustrated, he went back up to the roof to see if he could pick up the signal again. After a few hours of waiting, he sighed and gave up.

Dib went to bed thinking of aliens.

He had to be prepared for when they came.

And they were coming.

* * *

Zim and Tak hovered side by side away from the Invaders who where now equipped with their S.I.R. units. Their part in preparing them for Operation Impending Doom II was done for now.

"A few of those runts really sprang up, didn't they?" Zim remarked quietly to his partner.

She narrowed her eyes and nodded at him, her antenna flicking forward.

"My Tallest! My Tallest!" A small drone ran up to them, interrupting. "The communications department picked up a bug in the system! An alien planet, one called Earth, was listening in on your -lovely, by the way- speech!"

"What!?" Tak shrieked.

"Which idiot let that happen?" Zim screamed, picking up the drone by her collar.

"Someone-one left a communications port open! They managed to tap into it somehow!" She squeaked, frightened. With a disguised grunt, Zim dropped her and she scurried away. He wiped his fingers on his robe and sighed.

"This could be a problem." Tak said, mostly to herself.

"Yeah...we should send someone to take care of that. What was the planet called? Ee-arth? The aLMIGHTY ZIM could go!" He yelled, but it was just for show. Zim had important leader things to do.

Tak chuckled dryly. "Yeah, sure. There are those two stumpy wannabe Invaders that we banished, remember? The ones who still keep bugging us?"

"Red and Purple?"

"Yeah!" She nodded. "Since we have no knowledge about this "Earth", we could send them. Tell them to find the source of the signal and destroy it." Leaning closer towards Zim, she whispered, "And if they happen to have an "accident" just after the mission..."

Zim grinned. "Yes. Yeees. That is a good plan. Glad I thought of it." He threw his head back and started cackling.

Tak rolled her eyes and smacked the back of his head, causing him to choke. "Shut up, Zim."

* * *

 **Author's Note: I've had this idea for awhile and it's taken me a bit to work out. Hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Please review and tell me what you think, I live off of feedback.**


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey! I want a message sent to ex-invaders Red and Purple. Tell them to report to us as soon as possible." Zim barked at one of the taller drones, who instantly snapped up with a salute.

"Yes, my Tallest!"

Tak watched him race off with a thoughtful look on her face. "That was one of the drones that I was considering promoting, Zim. He follows orders excellently, and quickly. Doesn't ask questions. We need more like him."

"Hmm yes that's nice." He muttered, staring at a spot on the floor.

The tall female sighed and continued on without him. If Zim wanted to stare at a spot, he could for as long as he wanted. It was none of her business, after all.

* * *

"I never want to see a plate of glibllygrop again, Red." A small Irken with purple eyes groaned to his companion, both dressed in ridiculous white uniforms with ugly, tall red hats. They both carried trays half their size, almost falling over with the weight of the greasy fast food.

"You and me both, Purple." Red gagged as he slammed a plate of the disgustingly salty dish on a customer's table.

Red and Purple were two tiny ex-invaders of equal height. They'd been banished to Foodcourtia, one of the busiest snacking planets in the universe, to serve as food service drones. Well, Red had been anyway. Purple had insisted to go with him. The two had been inseparable since they met at the academy, Purple a scientist and Red an elite solider.

Two pies on a plate, or however that ancient saying went.

"Red! Get your ass over here, man the register, I'm going out!" Their large, bulky boss Sizz-Lor grunted out at the short irken. He was a rude jerk who spit a little when he yelled. They hated him.

"Ugh. At least he's leaving." Red muttered to Purple as he made his way up front. Purple snickered.

Sizz-Lorr left as soon as Red got up to the register. Grabbing the stool from under the counter, he began taking orders from the gross customers.

Suddenly Purple jerked back, his PAK alerting him of an oncoming transmission. He instantly dropped the tray on the floor and ran into the break room. Pulling out a small screen from his PAK, he turned it on.

"Hello, Irken soliders! You have been summoned by the Tallest! Leave immediately and get to the Massive. Don't keep our leaders waiting!"

Purple was stunned for a second after the transmission cut off. The Tallest? Summon him? He scrambled up and hurried to Red.

"Red! Red please tell me you got one too!"

"Got what? A transmission?" He yelled over the roar of hungry people. "Yeah! What was it about?"

"The Tallest want us, I think. Right now. We gotta go!"

Hearing that, Red jumped down and threw his cap off. He ripped off the gross white uniform and sighed in relief.

"Thank Irk. I was about to strangle one of them. Let's get off this grease ball."

* * *

Zim was sitting in the large control room of the Massive, lounging around above the technicians and drones piloting the ship and other things. The Tallest had a special platform for them to sit on, for observing the drones, receiving and sending transmissions.

Almighty Tallest Tak and Zim handled their duties well, but Zim saw them as a burden. He'd always wait until the very last minute to show up and work, which annoyed Tak to no end.

But today it was Tak who was late. Red and Purple were standing in front of Zim awkwardly waiting for him to talk.

Zim just stared at them and took a bite of his donut. He was sending signals to her with their PAK link, but she was not replying. He decided he could handle this.

"Well, I am sure you are wondering why the mighty ZIM! Has ordered you here."

They nodded but Zim went on without a pause.

"We picked up a strange signal that you need to find the source of. It's on a planet so far away, it's not even registered. I'll have it's location downloaded into your PAKs." He stopped and eyed a technician, who jumped up and immediately did what his Tallest had implied.

"It's also very primitive, not at all like the superior Irken Empire!" Zim yelled, jumping up, his fists in the air.

His tall, imposing form made Purple take a step back behind Red.

Zim cleared his throat. "Now go. Find the source and report back. Don't do anything until myself or Tak gives the order. You are dismissed."

"Yes, my Tallest." Red begrudgingly mumbled with a mock salute. Purple simply saluted and they scurried off to get their Voot Cruisers and stock up on supplies. Their destination was months away, not too long a trip.

If their stupid leader had given them their "modified" cruisers.

Which of course, he had not. Zim was many things, but stupid was not one of them. He'd given Red and Purple the one kind of ship they couldn't modify illegally.

A 102 Vortian clunker, originally designed for transporting small amounts of cargo. It was literally a big metal box with really old thrusters.

"Flirk that Zim." Red muttered as he and Purple stared at the large, square metal ship."It'll take years to get there in this piece of junk."

"Look on the other side, Red. At least we aren't stuck on Footsmellia anymore." Purple giggled at his own stupid joke.

Red groaned. "Yeah...that makes me fell so much better."

* * *

Dib had completely forgotten about that alien transmission. After six months of not knowing what to prepare for and nothing happening, he'd been distracted by a nest of baby vampires in a classmate's closet.

Years passed, and he eventually caved into his father's (and everyone else's) pressuring to study real science. Dib Membrane, the insane crazy boy, turned into the successful son of Professor Membrane, teen prodigy. The paranormal nearly forgotten, like a bad taste in his mouth. Nothing more than childish fantasy, an unpleasant memory.

Well, until he was captured by two buggy aliens.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry this chapter was short, I didn't want to make it too long so I cut it in half.**

 **So updates will probably be either weekly or every other week. It depends on how much time I have. But thanks for the reviews and follows! I see them and I'm glad that you guys are excited for it!**


	3. Chapter 3

It had taken a few years and frequent stops, but finally, they had reached their destination. Red and Purple had finally reached Earth.

"Hey Purple, are you sure this is the place?" Red looked at one of the four screens in the tiny cockpit, his eyes squinting as he tried to make out the small lettering.

Purple poked his head in. "If they gave us the right coordinates, yes." Red was an experienced pilot and knew what he was doing, but Purple had an uncanny sense of direction.

"Earth is the blue and green planet. The third one away from that star." He added, munching on the last of the snacks.

"Yeah thanks I know." Red snapped back. "Those were my chips."

"I know!" Purple mocked his friend as he popped another chip into his mouth, grinning.

Red hissed at him, and then turned back to the controls. It was time to land this piece of crap.

* * *

Dib Membrane was the teen-prodigy, science kid whizz. He was the famous son of Professor Membrane, and he currently was racing home as fast as his long lanky legs could carry him.

He'd seen something shoot across the sky from his classroom window, and it went right down into his neighborhood! It was like a bright ball of fire, exactly like something entering the atmosphere. Dib initially would have ignored it, dismissed it as a plane passing by. But it wasn't shaped like a plane. It was shaped like a square.

And square things just don't fly.

"They're finally here." He'd yelled and raced out of his high school classroom.

One of his classmates jumped up. "I knew he was still crazy!"

Dib skidded to a stop outside this house, watching in awe as a large column of smoke rose from his backyard.

Burning in a small crater was a small metal spaceship. Well, Dib assumed it was a spaceship. He hoped it was a spaceship.

He approached cautiously, taking out his phone to snap some pictures. "Wow. I can't believe this! After all this time, it's finally happened! Aliens! I have to tell everyone! I...I..." Dib stopped and stared at the smoking ship.

This was actually happening. It wasn't a dream. He could smell the smoke.

"Gaz!" The human screamed. "You gotta come out here and-"

Suddenly the thing opened and in a flash of red, purple and green, everything was black.

Red had smacked a small patch of pink plastic onto the alien's neck.

"We got it. I can't believe that worked. These...Earthanoids.. must be similar.." Purple whispered and trailed off as he and Red started dragging the lanky teen across the ground. Purple often mumbled to himself, Red had learned to just ignore it. He would tell him if he needed to know something.

"For a thing so skinny he is really heavy." Red griped. His fellow Irken nodded.

"Hey." A purple haired girl appeared in a small round window above them. "I don't care who or what you are, just bring him back when you're done."

"Uh..." Red looked to Purple and back to Gaz. "Okay...?"

She grunted and walked away, going back to her video game.

"Who was that Red?" Purple looked worried. "Do you think it'll tell someone? Is it dangerous? We've been seen!"

He paused for a second.

"Maybe...but it doesn't seem to care." Red started, "Let's just leave it alone. The presence it gave off was.." He trailed off with a shiver.

Purple nodded, a cold shiver running up his spine as well. "Let's just get him out of the way. The signal defiantly came from this location, in that building." He jerked his head in the direction of the house.

They both paused. That purple Earthian was in there.

"Let's just...tie this one up and wait for it to wake up. Maybe it knows something. It seems to be a scientist, if white lab coats mean the same here." Red's feelers twitched forward, waiting for Purple's approval.

"Yeah..this one wasn't as...scary..." Purple mumbled and they continued dragging him inside their ship.

* * *

"Nng.." Dib's mind was fuzzy, trying it's best to bring him out of his drug induced haze.

Purple's feelers shot forward. The creature was waking up. "Red!" He whispered furiously.

"What?" He looked up at Purple, his tiny gloved hands covered in string. Purple gestured viciously to the alien, and quite frankly, looking ridiculous.

"Oohhh." Red threw the string on the floor and hopped up.

Dib was freaking out. Years after he'd given up on anything paranormal they'd landed in his backyard. Aliens. They were real. He snapped awake, suddenly aware of the tight restrains on his chest, legs and arms. The human struggled against them, thrashing and grunting.

"Hey, that won't do any good. I tied those knots myself." Red smirked, his face smug.

Purple rolled his eyes, or at least Dib thought he did. Their bug-like eyes made it hard for the human to tell.

"Who are you? What are you? Why are you in my backyard!? What do you want with this planet!? I won't let you take my organs!" The words tumbled from Dib's mouth so fast some of them blended together. The Irkens could barely understand him.

"Shut up." Red sighed and deployed one of his PAK legs. The metal leg slammed down right next to Dib, making him jump.

Dib decided it was best to stay quiet for now.

"A few years ago, there was a signal from this location. Someone had listened to something they shouldn't have." Red got up in Dib's face. "I think we all know it was you."

Purple pursed his lips. "We do?"

His fellow Irken sighed. "Yes. Anyway, you're coming with us. You obviously haven't told anyone, or they would all be in a panic. Not that the empire would come after a backwater little planet like this. Pfft." Red scoffed, amused at the thought.

Dib thought for a second. "...coming with you where? What are you going to do with me?"

"We're taking you to the Massive." Red grinned.

Purple cleared his throat and grabbed Red, pulling him into the cockpit.

"How do you know thats the one?" He hissed, digging his claws into Red's arm.

"I don't. But I am not going to bother that purple alien for all the monies in the universe." Red shivered and picked Purple's hand off.

Dib had heard them and sighed in relief, his sister was safe.

"I have a question!" He piped up. "What's the Massive?"

* * *

 **A/N: I'm so that took forever I'm very lazy. I'm not that happy with this chapter but it's already so late so here you go! I hope it wasn't that bad...yeah.**


	4. Chapter 4

Dib was scared. Okay, that was totally understating what he was feeling right now. He was terrified, excited, and about ready to puke. Hundreds of theories ran through his big head. Where these creatures Martians? No, their eyes where colorful and their heads are more square, not round. But then again, who really knew what Martians looked like, if there even are Martians? Who defined Martians and decided they looked a certain way? Dib chose to just ask.

"Are you guys Martians?"

"Are we _WHAT_?" Red sputtered, "Is that some sort of Earth insult?" Purple got up in Dib's face, and pink tinted spit flew onto the human's glasses.

"Yeeaah, is that an insult? Huh? Is it?" His nasally (even though he did not seem to have a nasal passage) voice piped up, and Dib winced. The purple one's breath was smelly.

"Haha, uh…I was just wondering was species you are." He really did not want to make his captors mad. Dib had no idea what or who they are, what they are capable of, or what they wanted. Best case scenario he could get loose, and hijack the ship. They hadn't taken off yet so Dib assumed they had a reason for staying. Worst case, well, Dib tried not to think about that. Distract the aliens and work on his bonds. He couldn't exactly see what the material was, but he knew it was not rope or anything he'd gotten out of before.

Red left the prisoner to Purple, he had to make a call. Trotting back into the enclosed cockpit, he called the Tallest.

"Drone Red, reporting in." He saluted when his Tallests' images appeared.

* * *

"..." Purple stalled when Red left, suddenly at a loss.

"So.." Dib began, "What do you think I did again?"

"You, an inferior spy, got a lot of sensitive information!" The little alien stuck an accusatory finger in the human's face. His mouth was turned down in a tiny frown, and his big round eyes glared.

With a jolt, Dib realized this must be about the only alien transmission he'd ever heard. He chuckled to himself. So that's what this was about? The human did not even have a recording of that, he'd forgotten to turn the actual recorder on.

"Oh..yeeaaaah. That."

The irken sighed. "Do you have a name? Not that I care either way." Purple was tired of calling him "thing" in his head.

"Uh, Dib...Dib Membrane."

"What kinda name is Membrane?"

* * *

"Did you finally get there?" Zim laughed cruelly, relishing the glare the tiny irken gave him. Tak had always been Red's more favored Tallest. Zim was an ass, not that he'd say it out loud.

"Yes, my beloved Tallest. We have the creature who intercepted the transmission. This planet has little to no defenses, and I strongly believe it has no value whatsoever. My partner is …interrogating him as we speak."

"…Food service drone. Do you have any useful information?" Tak sighed and idly picked at her claws.

"Uh…" Red blanched. "Well. Uhm. Please wait one second my Tallest, I'll be right back." Flashing zippered pink teeth in a nervous grin, Red muted the transmission and literally jumped out of the cockpit.

"Purple! Did you get any info out of it?"

"His name is Dib, and he was the one who intercepted the transmission. That's all. He was sorta asking me questions and I got distracted." Red's partner's smile was guilty.

Shit.

"You know what? Drag him in there. Just let the Tallest asked him, our lives were gonna be cut short anyways." Red slapped a gloved hand on his face in defeat. Purple did what he asked, pushing the human in the cockpit and scurried the heck outta there. The Tallest scared him.

For a brief moment, Dib celebrated. Those idiots had left him in the cockpit, alone, with all the controls. The moment was over the second he realized all the words were in a strange alien language. He, of course, noticed the open transmission the second he was shoved in here, but chose to ignore it until just now.

"Are you done?" Tak narrowed her large purple eyes at him.

He nodded. "Who are you? What do you want?"

Zim scoffed. "Of course those _drones_ wouldn't tell you who we are. I am the ALMIGHTY ZIM! TALLEST OF ALL THE IRKENS!" He jumped up again, shaking a fist in the air. Tak rolled her eyes, unimpressed.

"Of course, Tallest equal to me." She crossed her arms and looked directly at Dib, a soft smile on her thin green lips that promised something sinister. "And as to what we want, well, we want you. Do you see that small blue box under the chair?"

Hands and feet still bound, Dib ducked down and saw the box she was talking about. He could easily reach it with his foot.

"Yeah..? What about it?"

"Push it down."

It took him a few minutes, filled with snickering from Zim, but he finally managed to push it down into the floor. The second he did it Dib realized his mistake. The ship's engines started up and screams rang out from behind him.

"The ship just filled itself with fire. Those useless drones have been disintegrated. When the ship is in space again it will eject that part of the ship and you will enter hyperspace. In two days you will reach the Massive."

Dib's eyes widened in shock and horror. Those aliens had tied him up, yeah, but they had seemed harmless. He had not wanted them to die.

Suddenly this seemed a lot less like fun.

The ship took off and tallest Tak's chortling laughter was drowned out by the engines.

"Fuck."

* * *

As soon as she heard that weird ship thing start up, Gaz knew her brother was in trouble. How many times had she bailed him out before? Lost count. Time to do it again. With a scowl she shut her GameSlave and stood up. Walking up to the table where her cellphone was, she picked it up and dialed.

"Hey Dad? Dib's in trouble again."

* * *

 **A/N: ok lol for a sec I wasn't gonna continue this fic but I got sudden inspiration so I'll be putting it out as fast as I can type it. Leave a review maybe and tell me what you thought?**

 **-poopcola (previously hideousnewgirl)**


	5. Not a Chapter

Sorry this isn't a chapter. I have literally no muse left for this fic and I will probably never pick it back up? Who knows. Sorry again! -tealblood


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